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Posts Tagged ‘surprise!’

Well, I’ve had my first official freak-out.  Less than 12 hours since I found out.  I woke up in the middle of the night feeling a little, um, damp.  Damp and sticky.  Obviously a miscarriage.  So I ran to the bathroom, swallowing sobs.  

Oh yeah.  Pessaries.  Ahem.  Going back to sleep now…

It’s official – I’m a dope.

And I’ve decided to be stupidly happy and giddy for this weekend.  How’s that for dopiness?  I’ll face reality if it’s necessary on Monday, but the next two days?  They’re mine to be a happy, newly pregnant woman.  I’m pretending I’m normal, see?  I’ll let you know how that works out…

I peed on a stick this morning.  You knew I would.  Just doesn’t feel real until I see the little blinky hourglass, somehow.  Sure enough.  

pregnant1

 

 

 

 

 

Clear Blue agrees, so it must be true.  (sorry for the crap photo.  My camera is out of batteries & I wanted to be SURE I got a shot of the magic word.  Yay for Apple’s photo booth!)

I’m looking forward to tomorrow – the boy’s birthday celebration is tomorrow, and we’re having a traditional turkey dinner with all the fixings.  Which will be fun in a kitchen zen sort of way, and lots of fun in an eat-a-lot sort of way.  I’ll be turning down wine, which will raise eyebrows, but won’t – obviously – be saying anything.  Hell, this time I won’t be saying anything til it’s obvious that I’m not just getting too chubby for my own good.  Shoot, maybe I won’t say anything until I actually go into labor… Hmmm.  Might be wise.

But I will call my own mom today.  She’s been grieving with me, so she deserves a weekend of happy as much as I do.  

Off to read what other people have been up to – and on that note – thank you, you’all for your congratulations.  It means an awful lot to me.  I promise to keep you posted…

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and rather at a loss as to what happened.  “But I don’t understand, doctor, we made love with our shoes on.”  

Um, seriously. Leaving aside the “how” question, when the hell did it happen?  I had a zero hCG reading two weeks ago, so, what?  I ovulated late – around the 11th-12th instead of around the 5th-6th?  And then it implanted late, as well?

I’m trying so hard not to get too excited about this.  Except it’s a goddamned miracle because we weren’t supposed to be able to do this unassisted.  

Ahem.

I voiced my theory to my friend at work that perhaps it was a miraculous conception & Zeus, you know, possessed my husband and I was actually carrying the reincarnation of Alexander the Great.  Or maybe the Messiah.  She said that no, she knew me better than that and if anything, we’re talking Whore of Babylon and AntiChrist territory here.  I told her to get me a pale horse for my baby shower and shut up already.  

Ahem.  Giddiness has definitely ensued.  Sorry.  I’ll try to keep it somewhat in check because honestly, I’m trying not to get too far over the moon.  It’s still so fucking early.  242 is not a stellar number, even if sproto-Sprog only implanted last week.  And I have a history of miscarriage.  (And ectopics!  Don’t forget that possibility!)

But, damn.  The moon’s a long way away from where I am tonight, anyway.  Monday, I’ll get worried again.  And worried’s where I’m sure I’ll stay for the next forever-long anyway.  But for tonight?  For Saturday & Sunday?  I’m going to try to enjoy it.  To really and truly enjoy it.  I think I’ll go POAS just for the goddamn hell of it.

Oh my.

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