Had my beta-test

And the tech not only couldn’t get any blood out of the first vein, but she left a gigantic, swollen bruise where she finally did get a bleeder.  Damnit.  
And despite my (rather calm and rational) explanation that she could leave the results on my cell phone, since I know it’s not good news (they [...]

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12dp3dt – #3 – Lalalalalalalalalaaaa!

I’m done.  Mentally, at least, this is my last IVF #3 post.  It’s over.  I won’t test tomorrow or Friday morning.  I’ve convinced even my own pollyanna self.  This one’s done, no use throwing perfectly good HPTs down the drain.
I’ve been making up pro/con lists of a donor egg cycle & adoption, and realize that [...]

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According to the cramps I’m already feeling…

… this is going to be one hell of a period.
Goddamnit.
Nothing new.  I feel pregnant, even though I’m pretty definitively not pregnant.  There’s no such thing as women’s intuition where PIO is concerned.  
Going to spend my evening hunkered down with some Soap DVDs, and maybe a Star Trek episode or two.  Plus some ice [...]

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Nothing new here.

Still not-pregnant.
Still hate/dread my job.
Still wondering how the fuck my life came to this.  
Beta isn’t until Friday, but the negative test this morning at 11dp3dt was pretty definitive as far as I’m concerned.  This would be day 1 of a new cycle if I wasn’t injecting progesterone.  
I’m absolutely at a loss as to [...]

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Fuck it all, I’m sick of reality.

I think right now the worst of this is that physically, I still feel so fucking knocked up.  So every time I try to wrap my head around the fact that this cycle didn’t work, I’ll get a whiff of stale refrigerator, or accidentally brush my arm against my swollen tits, or just feel my [...]

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